Six perks of being flat-chested
Ever feel like your best friend’s bra could sling watermelons across the school playing field or work as an actual parachute, whilst yours could barely hold a couple of satsumas? The fact is, some of us have big boobs, some of us have medium-sized boobs and some of us have no boobs at all. And whilst it’s only natural to want what you can’t have, it’s about time we gave small boobs the credit they deserve. So if you’re checking your bra and willing your breast buds to grow on a daily basis, don’t. There are SO many perks of being flat-chested.
So. Many. Clothes. Okay so plunging V-necks might not be your friend, but that gaping hole in your chest, I mean wardrobe, is more than made up for by the halter-necks, strappy tops, backless tops and dresses, jumpsuits and swimming costumes at your disposal – all of which you can wear safe in the knowledge that nothing is at risk of popping out. Where your bustier friends must consider cleavage, support, nips and escaping boobs, you can fly around in (almost) whatever you find on the rail, flat-chested and free.
Large-chested girls have it – far, far more than they want or deserve or should ever have to put up with. My well-endowed friend can’t go a week without a wokeless bloke passing comment or whistling. You might envy them now but believe me, when it comes to passing white vans and builders, that girl with the D cup would give anything for your 32As.
You can play it, without things jiggling and wiggling in front of you, causing pain and/or embarrassment each time you sprint for the ball. While your friends scour the web for special reinforced sports bras, you’re never more than a pair of trainers and leggings away from hitting the pitch. You can run for a bus without turning heads in the street. You can dance without fear of backache. And if you do feel a sudden burst of energy, impelling you to jump for joy, you can do so without fear of being hit in the face by a happy boob.
…is for the strong, and also for the flat-chested. Have you tried lying on your tummy with big boobs? I mean, no, obviously – but I’ve heard it’s an absolute b*tch. Not only are they, quite literally, in your way, it is painful – and potentially harmful – to put so much pressure on soft tissue. Which brings me to…
There isn’t any. No back ache, no stretching, no pressure, and – when you’re older – no sagging. Those nipples are going nowhere, my friend – and one day, you’ll thank them.
The biggest perks of being flat-chested applies to all chests: large, small, and kinda middling: they are yours. Not your boyfriend’s, or your girlfriend’s, or any wazzock who chooses to pass comment on them. YOURS. They were made for you, to match your height, shape and skeleton. So next time you catch yourself bemoaning your absence of bosom, run free in your bralette with pride!